One thought, one action changed the course of my life.
When I took a moment and begin to think about what it would take to alter my life the thought that only one action could be the catalyst to create such a change seemed an impossibly. One thought, action or idea changing my life, how? I knew there had been others that had successfully changed their lives by taking one action step but for some reason I did not believe it couldn’t work for me. I can’t make a difference nor did any really want to hear what I have to say. These words echoed in my head whenever I contemplated taking a radical action to unhook my life. Unhook myself from all the conditioning that I had accumulated over the years. What I was hearing in my head was this, you can’t take the radical action or reach beyond what is acceptable or normal. Besides, the thought of going for it just scared the pants off of me and gripped me with a monster load of fear. Not to mention how skillfully the mind would jumped in with its own campaign. The campaign that constructed in my consciousness every roadblock imaginable and stream them to me in full 1080 HD. Complete with full graphics and surround sound every time the idea of grabbing the chain to stop the train I was on popped in my head.
So there I was, standing in place facing my life knowing within myself I can’t do this anymore. The question rose in me, so now what? What do I do to change my life? How do I begin to unrival myself from what is weighting me down in this place? Can I really achieve the dreams and desires that I know would create happiness, joy and freedom in my life? Than there was the big question. Now this is the one, the question that I’ve discovered causes 99% of people to never grab the chain; what will they think? Who are they? They are everyone outside of myself, my social circle, friends and family. Will they think that I’ve lost my mind, I’m crazy… You know the trail of words, feelings and emotions I’m speaking of. This is the weight, the heaviest chain that kept me from leaping off the train. In my experience and in my conditioning I was suppose to fit in. Do what looks normal and don’t go against the gain of social norms. Just ride the train of life, keep your ideas in the main stream of thought and accept that this is how it is suppose to be. So, for most of my life I did my very best to just take my seat, smile and enjoy the ride. While on the inside I was screaming please stop and let me off.
Somehow deep within I know there had to be a way to stop this ride. I knew I was moving in the wrong direction, further and further away from the direction of my heart, soul and spirit. But the ever-present thought of having to explain what I was about to do, why I was doing it and the million dollar question for which I had no answer, how am I going to do it, kept me from pulling the chain and leap off.
Than one day, after 50 years of being a passenger on the wrong train, all the time seeking and gathering information I knew. I knew that the way to change my situation was by pulling the chain, leap off and not stopping. So that is exactly what I did. I loaded up what I could carry, pulled the chain, leaped off and never looked back. I couldn’t stop now, I had taken the leap into radical action mode and for the first time I felt the joy of being me. I also knew that if I dared to stop and think all the conventional conditioning that my life had been based around could overtake me. I made the discussion and I knew it was right.
One of the greatest lessons I learned on my journey to rediscovering myself was not to engage with my fears. Don’t stop and give any attention to the full HD stream of picture and sounds playing in my head. I learned to turned within and just quietly keep it moving. I had the power to stop all the noise and ideas that were not in alignment with myself. I knew and understood that I deserved the life I’d imagined. I didn’t think about what anyone else would say or think, because truth be told, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was I knew it was time to take the leap.
One of my great teachers, Ralph Smart, often says, take the radical action to change your life and become your authentic you. So, that is exactly what I did. I could no longer be the person that anyone else thought I should be, nor did I want to. The fact is I had not done a very good job of it anyway and I was tried. Tried of working hard against myself. Tried of trying to fit in. Tried of running around in the perpetual circle that kept leading me back to, I’m not happy and this isn’t working. Now I am finally free. I am free to be me. I am free from the inside out and all the weight that I had carried for so long was lifted. The leap from the train was the greatest WOOHOO moment of my life.
This is where my story begins and why I am creating this blog. To tell the story of being unconditionally you.