Asking the right question

I can say with absolute realness that today is the greatest day ever. What does having the greatest day ever mean? How do I become a manifestation of my deepest desire? These can sound like pretty heavy questions if I looked at them through the eyes and not who I am. They could cause an avalanche of negativity and lack responses to flowing through my consciousness and answer each of this significant yet relevant question with a bombardment of this and that. But I sit, stand and run around and shout that no matter what, today IS the greatest day ever.

I smile as I think of those who know and/or think they know the story that I am creating. I would say that most would shout, I really don’t see how she could believe what she is saying. Just LOOK at where she is and what she has, there is no way she could feel this way. And than there’s the few that get it.  They understand that in evolution there is destruction before the rebirth. Just as the oak tree seed is planted and the shell has to die and wither aways, so I had too. All of the stuff, the conditioning, the rhetoric, the untruths, the baggage and garbage had to be cleansed and a new, yet ancient and old way of perceiving living life was born. And in birth there is pain, pressure and release before life emerges, so I had too. I had to go within as that seed seeking nurturing, food, water and care in order to blossom.

There is time and space between inception and birth. How long the nurturing would take was solely decided by how I chose to make the journey. As all the great teachers have said throughout history, we are the creators of our own reality. And until the reality that I had surrounded myself became unbearable the seed lay dormant. I had to go beyond belief to knowing and abandon what I had ingested as who I was and step into who I AM. And while in the process reprogram the mind consciousness. It didn’t happen over night but it happened. And during the growing I needed to discover the right questions to ask and become still enough to hear. Growth required that I release fear and take the actions needed to change everything.

Since I was a very young child I ask, what is my purpose for being here? What is it that I am supposed to be doing? Who am I? I had the questions in the wrong order. I had to answer the 3rd question first. Which meant I had to know who I am, not by the standards of others but from within. I had to KNOW that I am greater than what I see in flesh and bones. That I came here for a reason, as we all have purpose, and that that purpose is greater than myself.

I’ve never been a selfish person and spent the majority of my life putting myself last because I was convinced that everyone else was more important than myself, while my insides were shouting you have something important that needs to be heard. Along my path many have appeared with this message to me; write, share and be bold you have a story to be told. I would graciously smile, say who me, diminished myself than file the idea away. My conditioned mind ran amuck with all the reasons no one wanted to hear or see me and guess what, they didn’t. It wasn’t about me at all it was about the message from within but I couldn’t receive it.

This was the reality that I was creating. That I was last, I had no creditable thing to give and that I had nothing anyone wanted to hear. Nothing materialistic or other wise to share but who I am. But who I am is enough because I am perfectly created by God/Source Energy/the Universe. This was what I needed to know, the question I had to answer before anything could begin to grow or manifest around my purpose.

So image finally waking up to this knowledge. Image growing in the understanding that through me the universe is becoming conscious and that I am here not to be a victim of circumstances but be the emanation of Source/God. Wow that was a lot to try to digest as my whole life was based on the primus that there was a gap between Source and myself. That God/Creator was somewhere out there. God wasn’t a part of me and not obtainable without suffering, lack and feeling completely unworthy. That money was the source of evil, that suffering was good and that I need to never honor myself as that would be considered arrogant or hearty. Wow!!

Than the door opened and a light walked into my life with a message that there is more to who you are. M shared a message that I had worth. This began some years ago and now I can say that through all the ebbs and flows, ups and downs that everyday is the greatest day ever. Everyday is an opportunity for I Am to grow, see the beauty and abundance all around me, be a giver, share love, be the evidence of abundance and walk in joy. As one of the great teachers of this time, Michael Beckwith said, joy is the living evidence of God/Spirit. That joy is the active quality of my beingness and awareness, REGARDLESS!

Joy is a way of living which creates fulfillment of life...

Until next time…

Peacefully and gracefully unfolding,

Nkiru

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